i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
