sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
