on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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