i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
