I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
