I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
