i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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