What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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