yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
