I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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