well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
