break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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