It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
