you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
