It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
