I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
