I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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