You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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