he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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