were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
