if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
