she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
