Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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