the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We named our party play list daddy issues
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
