I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you didnt know i had herpes?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize