just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
