I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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