I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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