Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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