she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
