I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
