the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
