now i know why i became what i already was.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
