i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
