your room smells of hookers.
And success
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
