no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
