i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
