none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
