I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
