we're chasing vodka with high fives
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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