you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
