found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
