i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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