I have demons in me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
