we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
