I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
