Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
