did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
