So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
