Don't you send me to vm
I hate all girls vehemently.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
