I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
