god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
