Are we in a gay sports bar?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
