she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Your cock deserves a montage
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
