speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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